Remembrance (Next up, Ch. 9)

[Aveyn Tamai]

This is a recollection by Aveyn from her childhood to present day. Feel free to leave comments Timeline will be periodically adjusted as I try and wiggle things into canon better.


Remembrance
- Aveyn Tamai; Jedi Knight


Prologue

The holocron rested in her cupped hands, nerve deadened fingertips touching its sides softly. Hands shifted, moving the dimly shimmering creation into the left only, her right coming up to massage the bridge of her nose. She was tired, too tired to collect her thoughts, let alone talk cohesively enough for a lasting message. Next to her in the darkness of the small hideout her companion stirred in his sleep, mumbling something softly into the night. Outside, away from the safety of the caved in basement, patrols would be about, wondering if the shadows they had seen hours before had been figments of their imaginations.

The energy the holocron gave off was minute, but constant. How long had it sat in the rubble, void of any information...she could not guess. Well, that at least, was something she could fix. Though she was tired, one of them had to keep watch, and she was loathe to wake the trooper slumbering next to her. No, she would stay awake a little while longer.

Taking a steadying breath, the woman sat up a little straighter, releasing a tendril of consciousness into the holocron, once more surprised by the emptiness she found, the lack of a gatekeeper. One more breath, in and out, and grey eyes locked onto the small silvery cube, reflecting back the light it emitted. Bits of brown hair framed her face, floating ghostlike in the glowing light, barely spreading past the place where she sat, motionless. She moistened her cracked lips, and started to speak, surprised by how clear her voice was.

"My name, is Aveyn Sirinil Tamai, and I, am a Jedi Knight,"

[Aveyn Tamai]

Chapter I Fog

Every morning, a planet-wide law hung over the valley like death over life, a constant. It was thick and smothering at times, humid and steamy, rising slowly from the thick valley foliage as did the sun over the valleys. It was fog.

The research town I was born in on Esseles was nothing if not a veritable playground. Not only were there constantly things to learn, tasks to be undertaken, but besides the classroom lessons...there were the forests. The lush jungles held a wide assortment of plant life, rivalling the hydroponic research gardens with ease. Some of the rarer plants in the galaxy were held in the research gardens, yet compared to the diversity in the wild...it felt like nothing. Every day was filled with new discoveries, new flowers, new mosses. The youngest children always had the most free time, and with a healthy survival instinct ingrained into us from near birth we wandered about in packs, searching vigilantly to bring treasures back to our community. One day we would be the scientists, and our children would bring us the key to a project we worked on. So I had imagined at least.

Of course, there were always dangers. Predators flourished as well, feeding on the myriad species of secondary feeders, small furry wiggling things that would burrow and eat insects and plants, birds and lizards that would soar through the trees. Vaguely, I can remember being teased for my near obsessive compulsions of helping injured animals, of once even leading my father, a renowned plant biologist, into the jungle to fix a tree I had found 'crying'. Indeed, a deep gouge had occurred when its neighbouring tree had lost a branch in a rain storm, the wound exuding sap in an attempt to purge invaders and protect the fleshier core of the tree. My father, Oric, had patiently explained the trees defence mechanisms to me, only seven at the time. Though he could not 'fix' the tree, he encouraged me to visit it when time permitted, and to keep a little log book of the trees self healing process. Nearly every day after lessons and chores I would return there, sitting up in the saddles of it's twisty branches, pouring my very will into this tree, wanting for it to heal. When I returned two weeks later, both father and step mother in tow, neither could explain how it had healed so quickly, three times the rate of the average for that species. I said nothing of my time spent 'speaking' with the tree...to me such a thought that I may have had something to do with it was idle fantasy.

It was, I suppose, a hint of what would come.

Sorraile itself was relatively small as far as towns go, it's population artificially inflated by the many scientists who called it home. Many of the scientists, my father included, had entire passels of children to their name, 13 children and one step sibling in total in mine. We were well within the town average. Perhaps it was the air, or the sheer amount of work that needed to be done. Regardless, when my mother died before my fourth birthday my father was not slow to remarry, and after my step mother Alma passed away three years later, he would marry again for a final time to Alma's younger cousin, Sendae. Some people would find disagreement with all this I am sure. Yet...I do not begrudge my father any happiness. He was a good parent, and a brilliant man, and I have no doubt, loved each of his spouses fiercely, though perhaps for different reasons. I never pretended to understand love. Nonetheless, the children of Sorraile quickly learnt to respect it. The community was family in of itself. Hundreds of people working together for common goals of medical research, all raising families together, creating lives. Truly, had the explosion not occurred, they would have shaped a generation of people that could have had a major impact on the galaxy.

Instead, only 43 of us would survive.

[Aveyn Tamai]

Chapter II Water

Tengir fungus was finicky as far as research plants came.
It couldn't be grown in lab, and it's potential for blood clotting was something that excited the minds of even the most jaded researchers, pushing them into new discoveries. It was going to revolutionize field medicine.

So it was, every morning just as the first hints of daylight crept into the sky, a few of the older children would take baskets and go to the foot of the ravine wall that the dam was built into. In the cracks there betwixt duracrete and bare volcanic rock that the filamentous mushrooms grew, cascading down like rivulets of water.

Those pre-dawn hours would last forever it felt, as the sun slowly climbed in the sky before cresting the tops of the valley walls. The rocks would be slippery with condensation and freshwater algae, especially near the foot of the dam where the river came out, always flowing at a sedate and measured pace. Those were, undoubtedly, the most peaceful and pristine years of my life.

The explosion was so sudden, so forceful...it felt as though the world around me had ripped apart, flinging me to the ground mercilessly. In those brief moments of terror I remember looking to the children around me, my peers, my friends and seeing that same fear reflected back. The sound of the water...you could feel the noise itself reverberating in your bones. I don't remember when the water swept me up into it's embrace. Small blessings for that I suppose, for the nightmares that resulted from being within the water itself have been enough for my lifetime.

I never saw another of those children alive again, and of the seven of us, only two bodies were found, mangled and broken downstream. Every child of Sorraile knew how to swim. In the time since then I have fought tooth and nail with my pysche, striving to be stronger each day, to push beyond that deeply ingrained fear of water I now hold, that sickening dread that comes with being submerged. The few times I have awoken within bacta tanks...the initial panic is...embarrassing. That, if anything else, is possibly what has driven me to what I am now. To make up for that lack of strength I strove to show my worth...learnt to heal.

The thought of those millions of litres of water around me still to this day induce a small sick feeling. I admit that fully. Yet at the time, I was so terrified, so sure that I had found my death...

Yet even there I find another reason for my training. To meet death once and evade it is one accomplishment, but now, at 29, I have fought death more times than I can count. Not over only my life, but the lives of others. I firmly believe that if the Force had intended for these people, for myself to join it...I would not have led the life I have.

It was this moment of sheer panic and terror that fully awakened by ability with the Force. Though I did not know it at the time, my frightened pleas for help were not merely internal, but broadcasted with the power only anguish can muster. So my fate would have it, two others would be awakened to the Force that morning. Of the 13 children in my household, three of us would survive.

At some point, I lost consciousness, swallowing a large amount of water. The hollow echoing of water around me diminished, and I felt the pressure around my body change. Now, instead of the whole of it, it was centered on my chest. My eyes flew open in shock to view my rescuer, my eldest brother, Torin, cradling me to his chest. He was soaking wet like I was, but even that did not hide the tears that fell from his eyes.
"I heard you call," he explained, hoarsely to me as I attempted to sit up on the bank of the still swollen river. We were at least a mile or two downstream from Sorraile at this point.

I think I smiled, though neither Torin nor I fully remember. I did, however, vomit considerably before passing out once more. This time it was a more restful darkness I found, safe with family.

~~

Nearly a week had passed before I awoke once more, laying on a small floor pallet in a home that was not my own. Sleeping beside me, curled up like a small pet was my younger sister Ailis, her large blue eyes opening with surprise when I shifted. She spoke not a word, hugging me instead before running out the room. The fact that she had been sleeping alone lay heavily on me, for never before had she been without her twin brother, Eron. As I carefully stood and descended down the stairs I braced myself for what was inevitably to come.

I did not expect to see the kitchen below so empty of familiar faces. Torin sat at the table with two older men, one a serene looking lethan twi'lek, younger than my father I gauged, but not by much. The other was a young human, not far from Torin's own age, 17, but showing the signs of sharpening facial features that came in ones 20s. Ailis stood by the younger one's chair, holding his attention with hand gestures that meant nothing to anyone but herself.

I coughed politely at the foot of the steps, my eyes sliding away from those of the twi'lek as he noticed me first, and smiled. I had the distinct impression that he had known I was there before I had made a sound, and it unnerved me. Torin started to speak, but I shook my head. I already knew where everyone else was. Dead.

"I don't need to hear it," I whispered with a small cough, my voice hoarse from disuse. I gestured towards Ailis as I sat down at the free chair at the table, watching her scramble onto the young man's lap now that I was downstairs. "I suppose you two found her?" I asked in what I hoped was a polite manner. All three of them nodded in near unison to answer me, Torin speaking first. "This is Master Rens'acen and Jedi Knight Andan Detries, they found Ailis downstream..."

I have always been slow to trust. I suppose it came from being in such a tight knit community. Yet in the following days I came to trust both Rens'acen and Andan, reveling in their stories of the Force, allowing this new knowledge to distract me from the pain of loss I felt. Master Rens'acen allowed me to follow him around the town as he gave what help he could to the other survivors, teaching me as the days flew by.

So it was, slightly over a month later, when Master Rens'acen and Andan told us they had to leave Esseles, I knew I would go with them. All three of us were offered training at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, though Torin, now nearly 18, would decline. Instead my brother would go on to aid in the rebuilding of Sorraile, and now, serve as it's Chief Researcher.

Yet for Ailis and I, there would be a future away from our birthplace, forcing us onto paths that would be as treacherous as the churning waters that claimed the lives of so many.

[HunterJedi]

So good so far, but still why doesnt anyone post their stories in paxpedia Im begininng to think that we should just take it down.

[Aveyn Tamai]

I probably will when it's done, but not yet.

[Aveyn Tamai]

Chapter III Wind

I know some people fear heights with the intensity that I do water. I understand it, though I do not share it. Growing up on Esseles and visiting the high cities conditions you early to the vertigo most people experience. So it was I spent not only the entire trip to Coruscant plastered to whatever windows I found, but upon arriving in the bustling metropolis I stood as close to the edge of platform after platform, peering down into the darkness below.

This place was far different from the lush forested playground I had called home. Instead of towering abdin trees with their broad dish shaped leaves, towers dominated the landscape, small transports and personal cruisers swishing and zipping back and forth like gnats. It was enrapturing. The more I saw the more I realized...I wanted to see the galaxy. I wanted to feel the wind of a hundred worlds on my face.

So absorbed was I in taking in every site around me I didn't even realize we had reached the Temple until I tripped up the first step, catching myself from falling with a hasty backpedal flailing of arms.

"She isn't exactly graceful is she? Quite the difference from the last ruffians you brought in my friend," a man striding down the steps exclaimed with a chuckle as he grinned at Rens'acen and winked at Andan who rolled his eyes with a small smirk. The twi'lek smiled back as he embraced the newcomer wholeheartedly, turning to introduce him to Ailis and I.

"This is one of my companions, Jedi Knight Gaiutus Balthar. He and I were both trained by the same Master, Mavis Korum...whom you shall likely be meeting soon?" Master Rens'acen finished his statement with a questioning look towards Gaiutus, the younger zabrak, Andans' age I guessed, nodding.

"Master Korum told me yesterday that you would both be returning today, with two younglings. You didn't report in for over five weeks," he frowned a little at that, a concerned look in his eyes, "We were both starting to get worried."

Master Rens'acen had a look of mild guilt on his face for a moment before brightening up again, reaching over to tap one of Knight Balthar's brown horns teasingly, causing the younger man to duck away and Andan to chuckle. "I'll apologise to Mavis when I see him, things on Esseles went a lot more poorly than we had anticipated."

I remember counting the steps as we ascended, though I suppose when we go back and rebuild, that number will have changed.


Master Mavis Korum was easily the kindest most gentle and thoughtful soul I have ever met, and likely ever will. He was a Cosian, and it seemed everywhere he went a child or two clung to his hands, or his tail. Ailis, for these same reasons, took to him like a duck to water, and I regret not noticing the hurt look on Andan's face when she forsook holding his hand to sit instead with Mavis. No...regret is not right. I was far too young and involved in my own grief and wonder then to notice anything.

I stood politely when I was introduced, answered when asked questions, but it seemed Master Korum understood quickly that what he and Rens'acen would speak of next was probably not for me to be involved in. Andan excused himself early, with Gaiutus leaving not long after. I sat on the floor by a heater, avidly reading a book about Dantooine flora and fauna that Master Korum had handed me from his extensive personal bookshelves. It was a journal of some sort, the writing spidery and old, fading from the brittle pages. Written books were a novelty to me, so used to using datapads for everything.

I didn't listen to their conversation, though I know much of it centered around the dam burst that had demolished Sorraile. In fact, it wasn't until I yawned, loudly, that both of the older men seemed to realize how late it had become, Ailis curled up in a ball on Master Korums' lap fast asleep.

"How about you and I make a deal eh?" Master Korum asked me with a paternal smile as he handed Ailis over to Rens'acen. "If it's alright with Ren, perhaps you could help me in transcribing some of the books I have collected here."

I nodded ecstatically to this suggestion, excitement bubbling up in me that I might have burst had Master Rens'acen not nodded in agreement a moment later with a smile and flick of his lekku. "She's a fast reader with a mind like sponge," he said, "I can think of no better helper for you old one."

I had trouble, then, really understanding the relationship betwixt Rens'acen and Mavis. Definitely, he treated Mavis with respect, but the laughter and jokes...there were few such relationships like theirs at the temple. I suppose Mavis brought those emotions of joy and serenity to everyone he dealt with, even myself when I allowed it. It was that self same attitude that I knew Ren tried so hard to emulate, truly working to be more like his mentor. It was what made me love and respect him as a Master. Yet it would also lead to grief.

That night was the last night I shared a bed with a member of my family. From a house of 13 children in three bedrooms to having my own. The next day, I would be interviewed by the council, and officially start my training with Master Rens'acen.

[Aveyn Tamai]

Chapter IV Blood

While some of the relationships I was coming to learn perplexed me at times, others were quite obvious. Andan hated Gaiutus. It was a slight thing, snide comments hidden in a joking manner, dirty looks when he knew the others were not looking. Except for me. I had seen this sort of jealousy before in Sorraile, not in my family, but in many. Sibling rivalry of sorts, though no one could ever have mistaken the two for brothers. Besides the fact of race, Knight Balthar a zabrak and Knight Detries a human, it was something more. Gaiutus had a warmth about him, earth tones and vivid green eyes; whereas Andan was the opposite, black hair always perfect, blue eyes sharp and cold. Both were equally brilliant when it came to the Force, and that in itself could have been cause for strife. Yet it was easily how Rens'acen treated Gaiutus like a brother, and Andan still like a student, albeit a gifted one, that much of the angst welled from.

It was obvious Gaiutus was aware of it, though I think, like Masters Rens'acen and Mavis Korum likely did, he believed it was something he could fix. He was never anything but friendly with Andan, and even though he probably should have, I doubt anything was ever said to either Master about the extent of the issue. Force knows there are plenty of things I saw and experienced that I should have reported, but did not. I could blame age, but I was old enough then to realize something was wrong.

So the years flew by in my training, days spent in meditation, combat skills and study. I spent much time with Master Korum transcribing his ever growing collection of texts, always excited when the newest addition was brought in by a Jedi returned from travels. It was he who taught me all I know of holocrons and gatekeeping systems, and how to find the secrets locked away past mind traps and passwords. It was also him that suggested to Master Rens'acen that I receive some training in healing. I agreed at the time, always wanting to learn more. Little did I know back then how much of a calling it would become to me.

My first death occurred when I was 14, already beginning to work with the Knights and Masters that worked in the Halls of Healing, assisting and learning to heal minor wounds on my own. The man had been subjected to a large amount of shrapnel during an explosion at a work site, one of his eyes demolished, his body a veritable pincushion. The amount of injuries from that explosion had left many victims, and the healers were spread thin, so it was I found myself assisting in repairing bleed sites. It was, however, too much for his system to take.

I don't think I had been aware, truly, how much blood a person could lose until that point. The floor was slick with it in places, even as droids attempted to clean, so to were many of the healers and myself covered. He died while we strove to heal him, and so focused was I in his system I felt him slipping away as though I might very well be going with him. It was only the steadying hand of Master Rens'acen on my shoulder that pulled me back to myself.

"I came as soon as I heard about the explosion," he explained to the healer I had been working with, Master Lenor Atna, a stately woman with warm brown eyes and graying temples. "I'm ready to offer help wherever I'm needed," he turned his bright gaze towards me, and I could read the concern in his eyes, "And you my young one should go rest...it's been over 10 hours since you started here."

It was more than just my own willfulness that gave rise to my answer. I knew I was one of the youngest padawans there, and yes, that did give me something to prove, but...the more I learnt the more I realized, I was good at healing. I was needed here. It was a gut feeling, visceral and real. Forceful.

"I think I would rather stay and help Master, if Master Atna feels it is alright?" I looked up at the older woman, and she smiled with all her face, her eyes twinkling. "I do, so long as you promise me you will go rest in another hour or so."

I gave Master Rens'acen one more look before moving off to find another bed where I could help, and to this day I remember the look on his face like it was yesterday. There was surprise there, but beneath it...pride. Not the loud and bossy kind, but the soft and settle. The pride a parent has when they look at their child and see them do good, or a gardener who steps back from their hard work one day to see a masterpiece in fruition. I felt happy back then, seeing that I had done well in his eyes. It is only now, in later darker days that I think back to that moment and remember...he loved me, regardless of how convoluted my perception of the term would become.

That night, after resting for a few hours, I snuck out of my rooms in the pre-dawn with a medical datapad in hand, ensconcing myself on a garden bench to read. I didn't look up until someone came crashing down in front of me, tripping over my outstretched legs.

My eyes settled on Knight Balthar as he rubbed his head with a wince, shrugging nonchalantly at my bemused expression. He seemed a little surprised to see me smiling, and I admit, it wasn't something I did often. "I thought I was supposed to be the ungraceful one?" I asked, referring to our first meeting on the steps of the Temple four years prior. He smiled ruefully as he arranged himself to sit cross-legged on the floor. He was a young man then, and I was at an age where physical attractiveness was not lost on me. I barely saw Master Korum's old student, typically finding myself out on the odd mission with Master Rens'acen and Andan, or in the medical wing.

"I was just coming out here to seek out some peace and solace...as I suppose you were as well," he said with a smile, "What are you reading?"

"Anatomy and Behaviour of Kashyyk predatory species," I blurted back as a reply, as always awkward when spoken to. I did my best to not meet his eyes out of shyness, and during that my gaze caught the bump beginning to swell on his forehead. "You hurt yourself when you fell!"I exclaimed, concern and, I admit, excitement in my voice.

He chuckled at my reaction and touched the spot tentatively with a hand. "I suppose so, doesn't seem too bad, but I guess that's what I get not watching my step hm?"

"It was dark, and I shouldn't have had my legs out..." I put the datapad down beside me and moved forward, "I can fix it though! Please?" I wanted so badly to show him how my skills had been progressing. Unlike Andan, I knew Gaiutus would at least pretend to care, if not truly.

He hesitated a moment before nodding consent. "Sure, why not? Just don't scramble my brains or anything," he said with a smile.

It didn't take long. I finished and stepped back to admire my handy work when a person coughed from down the hallway. "You're supposed to be asleep," Andan said in a somewhat scolding tone as he stepped closer, becoming more visible in the dawning morning light. "Yes...sorry," I replied meekly, not wanting to get in trouble with Master Rens'acen. I sprinted back to the dormitory without a backward look, leaving the datapad behind in my haste.

Sometime in the morning I woke to find Andan sitting on the foot of my bed, tapping my leg to wake me up. "You didn't sleep in," he answered my unasked question, his gaze fixed on the wall ahead of him. "Nor did I tell Master Rens'acen that you'd been lurking about last night."

I muttered some sort of thanks, surprised that I hadn't gotten in trouble for my nightly foray. He simply shook his head, closing his eyes and smiling slightly. "Not to worry Aveyn...I care about you, and we look out for the people we care for, right?" I nodded silently in agreement. It made sense.

One year would pass before I would begin full-time field training with Master Rens'acen and Andan. Two years of slow and subtle manipulation, and I was blinded. Andan cared about me, let me have my secret excursions. Yet in turn, I was constantly reminded...should Master Rens'acen find out...he would be disappointed in both of us. Did I want that? No...most definitely I did not.

[~Kith]

Fantastic thus far! I am almost scared to write my own little story cause this one looks so damn good lol

[Amorl]

Amazing story. Very well written, nice details added in. Honestly not to go overboard but its like reading a published piece.

[Aveyn Tamai]

Thank you guys, that means a lot to me. Writing in first person is something I'm pretty new to.

I can only hope one day when I'm done my degree I can get back into writing more!

Oh and while I'm talking/typing, if anyone has a character that would be in the Coruscant Temple at any point during this, pm me and we'll try and work out the timeline. Especially if anyone gets injured XD

[Aveyn Tamai]

Chapter V Ashes

A lot of what we did during the three years I spent training in the field with Master Rens'acen and Andan involved covert missions, intel gathering and investigating reports of force sensitive children. Learning secrets, holding secrets...it was little wonder that when we reported back to the Council on occasion they passed over my behaviour. I had always been quiet and intense in my studies, to them nothing had changed.

Yet things had changed. Secrets became more than just a fact of life for me, becoming the very essence of my life. The more I was forced to hide things from my Master, the more I strove to ferret out the secrets of others, as though doing so would somehow absolve me of the guilt I felt. I woke many mornings those years, alone in my bed with a sick feeling in my stomach, trying not to think of what had occurred there mere hours before. I became adept at healing bruising and cuts with rapidity, or, in the few cases where time did not allow, at explaining them away with lies.

Rens'acen must have wondered if there would be any hope for me in finding a portion of the grace most Jedi embodied. He would blame himself, later, for not noticing then what had been taking place. By that point I had more than forgiven him, and myself. People make mistakes, are willfully blind when it comes to the wrongs of the ones they care about. Did that make him a poor Jedi? Perhaps in some ways.

As far as I knew, Andan loved me. So he said at the least. I knew such a thing in itself, such attachments, was wrong for a Jedi...so I said nothing. How could I, when he looked out for me, covered up my own mistakes...

I learnt to control my body during those years with a speed that I doubt would have occurred otherwise. People question why such terrible things happen, how the Force could allow it. I console myself that from everything that happens, a lesson is learned. The sum of my years, regardless of what filled them, has made me what I am today.

Every forced smile, excuse, apology...was all lies. Never before, and never since had my life felt so hollow, so very very wrong, and yet, inescapable. Slowly, as the years passed, the missions became more dangerous, many nights increasingly terror ridden. It wasn't until I was 18, left to complete a mission with Andan alone after Master Rens'acen was injured, that I realised just how dark he could be. Yet I still told no one. Even now, this...remembrance I record on the holocron you are listening to...even now I will not put to words the deeds he did, the pain he wrought. That in itself should have scarred me more than it did. Perhaps there was no more space left in me for that all encompassing fear, the water of my childhood still fiercely clinging to that spot.

So it was I discretely applied for advanced training at the Halls of Healing, unbeknown to even my Master, not wanting him to say anything to Andan. The months before I passed my Trials and gained the status of Knight were some of the kinder of that time. I returned to the temple on Coruscant, left alone in much of my preparation, finally, after those dark years, given time to think.

Lightsaber in hand and the Force at my side I passed my combat trial, successfully defending myself for nearly an hour with the use of Soresu, only faltering at the end when the presiding Master's decided to add another combatant to the mix, and while deflecting the weapon of one and twisting around, inadvertently causing the second to come into contact with his companions' lightsaber, nearly goring himself. As it was I requested to forfeit the match in order to see to the injuries of the other, and was granted permission. The wound was difficult to fix, if only for the awkward angle of entry and the damage to two of his lower ribs. We moved him to the Halls of Healing, and when there, I turned around some hours later to find myself alone, and a note in my dormitory room that I would continue my testing the next day.

I took the opportunity for some rest, and found my way to Master Korum's workrooms, finding them empty. I looked through some of the recent documents he had been working on, and spent another hour or so transcribing, signing off on the section as I always had in my younger years, so he would know who's work belonged to whom. I wandered the halls for some time after that, pausing in the library to look into the new selections, and finally, spending some time in the gardens, stopping to prune the odd dead leaf or flower, or to check the soil moisture.

I slept peacefully that night, dreaming I was floating on a body of water, no land in site around me. Yet I wasn't afraid. I knew how to swim. I had always known how...and drifting atop the crystalline waters, there was no question in my mind that I was safe.

When I awoke and made my way to the dormitory common room my eyes found a familiar face seated there. Gaiutus Balthar. He was more handsome than I remembered, though age can do that. He looked the same, but slightly neater, and his eyes more world weary. I couldn't help but wonder what he saw when he looked at me, three years past from our last meeting.

"Master Korum asked me to escort you to your next Trial, and wanted me to give you his thanks for the work you completed last night," he spoke as he rose from the chair he had been sitting on to greet me. "I would like to thank you as well, he isn't quite as quick in his work as he used to be, knowing there are others to look out for him is consoling."

"Of course!" I replied, somewhat surprised at being thanked for something so simple. "I'll be training more extensively in the Halls of Healing once I pass my trials, so I had intended to spend time helping him, if he wanted it," I said with a small shrug, falling into step beside him.

He smiled, "He would appreciate it, I'm sure, and it would ease my mind knowing someone was here to help him when I was out on missions."

Somehow that meant more to me than helping Master Korum in itself. "What have you been up to lately," I asked as we turned down another hallway.

"Oh you know, pirates, that sort of thing," he replied airily as we reached the double door of the council chambers. "Good luck," he added, leaving me to stand there alone to face my future.

[Arkathos]

Love it :D Keep it up Aveyn your work is beautiful. You capture emotions and imagery incredibly Hope next part is up soon. Hope you pass ;)

Guest Post Rules are In Effect for this Post

[Aveyn Tamai]

Haha you just like it because I called Gaiutus handsome, don't lie.

But thank you <3

[~Kith]

posted my little short story let me know what you think :p

[Aveyn Tamai]

Chapter VI Dust

The first thing that struck me when I entered the room was how empty it was, at least given the amount of people that occupied it at the current time. "Aveyn Tamai," one of the Masters greeted me with a solemn nod, "Please stand at the center, and answer what is asked of you to the best of your capabilities."

I nodded back to show my understanding, moving to the center of the room and bowing to the group in greeting. I was somewhat confused as to why I was standing here already.

"What did you feel yesterday, while you were healing Knight Tandith," one asked me, fingers steepled at his chest.

"I--" I paused in thought, suddenly confused. What did I feel while I healed? "During...I don't know if I really have a word for that feeling Masters. Intent, I suppose? After a healing completed successfully of course there is a feeling of relief, and contentment in a job done well but...while I heal I'm too focused on the job at hand to feel...much of anything."

"And when you do fail?"

I thought about the first man I had felt die while I healed him, of the people since then. "Disappointed, momentarily, that I was not able to keep them alive. It does not trouble me long...I know they are safe, one with the Force. Once..." I gathered my thoughts, wanting to depict the experience best I could, "Once there was a babe, not even a year, belonging to a couple we came across while traveling, he was in grave health, his lungs improperly formed before birth. I did my best but my training in such fields is still lacking. I was able to ease some of his symptoms, but I could tell he would not survive another year. He is likely with the Force by now. I left some recipes for tinctures with them, in the hopes that she might carry her next child longer, enabling it a better chance at life. It was...grim. They were young yet, maybe a few years older than myself. I thought they would be more angry, or sad that I could not save him. I was surprised at how accepting they were."

"That you had the foresight to think of their future speaks well for you Aveyn. As well, Master Atna has expressed quite firmly that she would like to take you under her tutelage."

"That she even remembers young Aveyn's name is impressive enough," an elderly Master remarked, humour in his voice, "While I would trust my life in Master Atna's hands, her memory for names is considerably more dismal than her skill with the Force." The levity of his observation made me smile, immediately feeling more at ease. These people were my teachers, my mentors. They wanted me to do well, to grow and learn.

"What are you afraid of?"

I considered the question. The council knew of my issues with submergence in water, ongoing even to this day I have been working past it, slowly but surely feeling more secure in my ability to move underwater again. So what else? No one was ever truly without fear, it was a part of being a living creature. It was the understanding and conquering of such emotions that lent a Jedi strength.

"You already know of the work I have been doing to overcome my problems with water, it has been trying but, I feel I have been making considerable progress. Other than that...disappointment I suppose. That I might fail in something."

"Have you failed in things before?"

"Of course. Not all endeavours one undertakes can be successful. Life isn't like that," I was wondering where this train of questions was taking us.

"So you expect to fail again, within your future?"

"It is inescapable, I would say. That I learn from my experiences regardless of success or failure is the only true constant I can ascribe to."

There was a gentle murmur of approval at my answer. "If you would step outside for a moment Aveyn, we must discuss your answers."

I bowed once more, still wary at how simple this had all been. Shouldn't there have been more to my Trials than this? How could they make a decision now? Even as I stepped outside, carefully closing the door behind me, I couldn't help but run a hand through my hair, touching the braids that had been placed there not long after the deaths of my family. Not to dwell, or hold vengeance no. Just a simple reminder that I had been loved and had loved. That regardless of where I went in my travels, they would be with me, a part of me.

I should tell the Council about Andan, I thought, finally admitting a conclusion I had long ago realised, at least instinctively. Andan was dangerous, not only in his skill with a lightsaber, which I had witnessed countless times, but his ability to coerce and manipulate. I would take time tonight to put all my thoughts to words, not wanting to leave anything out, or to misconstrue anything that occurred. Then, at first light, I would tell them what had happened.

It seemed so simple in my mind then.

A young padawan bolted up the stairs past where I stood, recklessly hurtling himself into the council room. "A riot in the lower city has gotten out of hand! The Jedi that were stationed there were overwhelmed trying to stop the mob without injuring anyone when someone threw a combustible into the crowd," he was shaking, though he tried to hide it, holding his hands tightly together as he made his report. I recognised him as one of the padawan learners that worked in the Medical wing. To send a student...that meant no one else could be spared.

I had entered the room behind him, placing a hand softly on his shoulder, he looked up at me, eyes glassy with panic. It must be bad then. "How many are critically injured Wynris," I asked, my mind already planning out what would have to be done, what injuries to expect.

"At least fifty, but they're still pulling more out of the area. Perhaps half that were brought here, the worst of them. They think over twenty were killed. One--" his voice stumbled over itself here as he fought to come to terms with the reality of what he was saying, "One of them was a Jedi."

"Who?" one of the council members asked, but the boy merely shook his head, distressed that he could not answer the question.

I looked up to meet the eyes of those seated around me, and I think already they knew what was on my mind. There were more important things to be done than answer questions.

"Go then, help them with the injured. Tell Master Atna help is coming, some of us will be there shortly."
I was already turning to leave, nearly to the door when I heard the Grandmaster speak from behind me.
"May the Force be with you, Jedi Knight Tamai."

Was I surprised? Partially. Too many had died already in the war, started when Rensa himself had been newly made a Knight. But I felt as though I had been given and honour I was not quite ready to accept.

It was that feeling however, that drove me that day, that night and for a year to heal to the best of my ability and beyond. To strengthen my knowledge and power in the Force, and invariably, I began to gain a stronger personality, and stronger resolve.

Death and I danced frequently in that time, though I did not foresee just how intimate of combatants we would become as the years went by. Finally, though it took far longer than it should have, I made my report to the Council.

Andan was declared exile. None of us could find him.

Then the Sacking occurred, and for awhile, it slipped to the back of our minds.